Dad of 4 children keeps paying Mom child support even after 3 kids turn 18, Mom decides to stay silent and take the money, until he finally discovers: ‘You did nothing'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 31, 2026 1:15 PM EDT

Who's at fault here, Dad, who didn't notice, or Mom, who didn't say anything?

Have you ever stood in front of a cashier after you just gave them money for a purchase, and after they gave you back your change, you realized they gave you more than they should have? Like, they gave you a $20 bill instead of $5 and basically lost money without noticing?

Mistakes like these happen, especially for people who look at numbers and money all day long. The question is, what do you do after you notice this mistake? We imagine some people act like they didn't notice either and happily take the money, but we could never do that. If we catch the mistake, we will do the right thing and give the money back. Otherwise, it's basically stealing.

Is what the Mom in the story below did basically stealing? We'll let you decide.

She turned to a Reddit community to ask if she's in the wrong about how she handled her ex-husband's child support pay. They agreed that he would pay child support for each of their four children until they turn 18 years old. The agreement stated that they would take turns to file the documents after each child turns 18, and Mom did so for their first child.

When the second child turned 18, Mom noticed that Dad forgot to file the court papers and instead continued to pay the child support. Instead of saying something to him, Mom decided to keep quiet and keep the money, and the same thing happened with child #3. It was only after the fourth child turned 18 and child support ended altogether that Dad's girlfriend finally noticed the years he overpaid for the kids who had already turned 18. Immediately, she accused Mom of not saying anything and basically stealing the money all these years.

Which leads to the question, should Mom have said something, or was it Dad's fault for not noticing when his own children turned 18?

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  • 01
    A man sitting at a table, angrily talking to a woman, portrayed by models.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A man sitting at a table, angrily talking to a woman, portrayed by models.

  • 02

    AITAH for getting child support for more children than I had at home?

    When my husband and I got divorced, we had 4 minor children together. Husband was ordered to pay me child support for them.
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 03
    The attorneys told both of us that when each child reached the age of 18, my ex-husband would no longer have to pay child support for them, but this doesn't happen automatically. We would have to
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 04
    file a paper with the family court asking for child support to be reduced. You pay a nomimal fee, file a court paper, and it's done.
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 05
    We agreed that we would take turns doing this as each child aged out, and I would go first, since I was working as a paralegal in a state office and was familiar with filing court documents.
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 06
    When the oldest turned 18, I filed the paperwork with the court and the child support was reduced from covering 4 children to covering 3. When the second child reached 18, I waited for
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 07
    either my ex to ask me how to file the paperwork (we were on good terms and communicated regularly) or for the amount of child support I received to reduce. But neither happened. Then a few
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 08
    years later the 3rd child reached 18 and the same thing happened. He neither reached out to me nor filed anything with the court. So at this point I had one minor child at home and was receiving child support for 3 children.
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 09
    Years later when the youngest one turned 18 and was graduating from high school, my ex-husband handed me some paperwork to end the child support payments, which I immediately and happily signed.
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 10
    His girlfriend said to me, "I just found out that he's been overpaying for years! You knew and you said nothing! You knew how to file the court documents, and yet you just let him continue paying for three kids, when you only had one!"
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 11
    All this was true. But he was present, just like I was, when we agreed that I would take care of the court filings for the first and he would do the second. He knew the kids were aging out and did.
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 12
    nothing about it. He didn't ask me, didn't go to the divorce attorney, didn't do anything to try to rememdy the situation. AITAH?
    via Flaky-Walrus7244
  • 13
    Document titled ‘child support agreement’, next to glasses and a gavel.
    via designer491

    Document titled 'child support agreement', next to glasses and a gavel.

  • 14
    everythingista You probably should have filed the paperwork for the 3rd child as you agreed (every other child).
    via everythingista
  • 15
    Cybermagetx Chances are you can be held liable for the over payments. Eta just looked it up. In all 50 states you are liable to pay it back, and in some states with intrests.
    via Cybermagetx
  • 16
    Eta 2, as OP isnt in the states, there are many countries that also has overpayment needing to be paid back. Eta 3, shes from the UK based upon her history. She will be liable for overpayment.
    via Cybermagetx
  • 17
    Dachshundmom5 Why didnt you file for child 3? You agreed to do every other kid, so him not doing kid 2 is on him, but why didnt you do kid 3?
    via Dachshundmom5
  • 18
    Generally I would say you are an AH, but he was too lazy to literally file a basic form? Even now he isnt complaining, his GF is? Do we really think someone too lazy to file a form to lower his support will bother coming to recoup it?
    via Dachshundmom5
  • 19
    LookAtTheSkye I don't know that I necessarily think YTA but I think it's risky as you may be liable to pay it back
    via LookAtTheSkye
  • 20
    More-Detail9569 If you had such a good relationship then why didn't you mention it?
    via More-Detail9569
  • 21
    Tall-Poem-6808 YTA. Trying to take the moral high ground with "iit was his turn, he should have done it" for #2, then not doing it for #3, doesn't make you look good.
    via Tall-Poem-6808
  • 22
    You didn't do it for #3 even though it was your turn because you knew that would remind him of #2, and you would lose both payments at once.
    via Tall-Poem-6808

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family drama kids mother parenting child support pay dad family money parents children Father
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